Last week, I had a conversation with a vanilla about my interest in spanking. I explained that there were other things, besides sex, that were the key to my “womanly pleasure.” It seems like once that can of worms is opened with someone, their curiosity is sparked and the rest of the night you’re entertaining questions. So, later, when I told him I also got spanked for everyday discipline, not just foreplay, he was flabbergasted.
For some people, spanking is used exclusively as sexual play. For others, myself included, it is also incorporated into daily life as a form of structure and discipline.
I’m often asked if spanking is sexual for me. The answer to that is yes and no. As a general rule, we use spanking for discipline and do not incorporate sex. It’s my thought that to do so is more of a reward than punishment and is counter to the goal of correcting the bad behavior. Despite this, spanking can be a very intimate act. Submitting to someone and baring my bottom is an expression of trust, and knowing that the person cares about me and has my best interest in mind, even while they are spanking me.
Disciplinary Spanking
July 27th, 2008 - 11:58 pm
I’m the same way, my friend. There is a thrill about spanking and submitting that isn’t necessarily intertwined with sexual arousal. It’s certainly an intimate act, but that does not mean that it’s overtly sexual.
July 28th, 2008 - 5:20 am
certainly a complex topic. I’ll never forget someone in the scene put it very succinctly to me: she said: “Spanking is sex.”
Food for thought.
July 28th, 2008 - 9:07 am
HM! An interesting topic indeed: I guess that spanking (even a disciplinary) might be a bit of a turn on - I guess that many folk find watching one might be also: but the other way round? Do you - does anyone - have experience of spanking immediately after sex? That I guess is a completely different ball game!
July 28th, 2008 - 9:13 am
Spanking is sexual for me, but discipline is still discipline. The interest in non-sexual spanking is sexual, if that makes sense. When it’s about punishment, the focus is on why it’s happening, and that isn’t sexy or frivilous. When it’s happening, it’s not fun to punish someone who isn’t having fun. When it’s over, then the feelings of extreme closeness when she’s at her most vulnerable, and that’s a more general feeling of love rather than to have sex. It could actually end there if it’s not part of a sexual relationship, though I have no experience with that. The thought of it is still sexy, and as part of a sexual relationship, she’s even more attractive to me having had a spanking. Women who want discipline like that in their lives are more attractive to me, so it is definitely sexual.
That kind of discipline relationship makes sense to me. I hope my attempt at explaining myself made sense.
July 28th, 2008 - 7:07 pm
For me spanking has always been a highly sensual/sexual act, and has grown more so as time goes by. In fact it’s not usual for me or my baby (or both of us) to climax while she’s wiggling and grinding across my lap during a particulaly intense spanking. And to add to my delghtful distraction are the sweet young red-bottomed girls of today’s spanking scene, like Pixie…and, of course Chloe Elise. It is a real pleasure to see so many young enthusiasts carrying the torch into the next generation and beyond. Happy Spanking all!
July 30th, 2008 - 9:10 pm
Short post… but you sure hit the nail on the head. Not sure your vanilla friend could grasp the point. If it’s possible for his mind to get there though… it would have happened after his talk with you.
July 31st, 2008 - 6:31 am
I should have added - that photograph of you is magic - it speaks volumes!
July 31st, 2008 - 3:33 pm
I haven’t played for sex for nearly a decade, much of the aim of the exercise for me is that adrenalin/endorphin high. Very often I see female spankees on the ‘Net asked the theoretical question “If you had to choose between spanking and sex, which would it be?” for many male spankees that is not a theoretical question, once your over a certain age. I’m happy with my choice.
Prefectdt